Changing Fates
by cakeaholic2000
Summary: Lofty is trying to move on. He is trying to forget what happened before. His Dad suggests a therapy session which he reluctantly agrees to but will dragging up all the memories do more harm than good or will it finally solve the mystery that has haunted Lofty for the past four years?
1. Chapter 1

Authors note: Hi there shoelaces! This is a story that's been festering in my brain for months it's Lofty' s backstory but its become so complicated it needs this prequel type thing (that's what happens when you let an idea grow for nearly a year)

I sat in silence in the front of my Dad's car as we sped towards the therapists office. It hadn't been in the car with him for years, he hadn't been sober since my first stepmum Hannah left him nearly twelve years ago.

My Dad, who was a widower had met the beautiful blonde at the local pub. From the night they met I could see a difference in my Dad. He had been single since my Mum died when I was two and Hannah had been single since her own boyfriend died leaving her with their five year old daughter, Leah.

The pair soon moved in and I tried to adjust to my new step sister the best I could. Leah was blonde like her Mother, tall for her age and the liveliest little girl I had ever met! Leah' s early life had been pretty unsettled. Her and Hannah moved every few months so she never really made any friends but after about a month or so she began to really come out of her shell.

Then Hannah dropped a bombshell. She was pregnant.

A calm fell over the new family for the next nine months. Dad got into the property market to make some extra cash, Leah settled into school and according to her teacher she was 'a pleasure to have in class's. I began my third year of secondary school and Hannah... well Hannah started disappearing. About once a week, she said she was going to a 'pregnancy support group'. We believed her of course but as her due date got closer she began to disappear more and for longer. Between us my Dad and I cared for Leah, picked her up form school and took her to balet as well as preparing for the baby.

Hannah went into labour one sunny Saturday morning in late August. After what seemed like a century I got the phone call from my Dad telling that the baby had been born and I should bring Leah to the hospital.

When we got to Hannah's room she was propped up on a bed, Dad was holding the tiny bundle, grinning.

"She doesn't look like a Megan" I remember Leah saying as she peered at the baby. I took a step closer. No, Megan, the name we chose for her months earlier didn't fit the tiny baby. "How about Annie?" Leah suggested.

I doubt Leah was serious as Annie was the film she had been watching the night before but Hannah smiled weakly and said "like the song 'Awkward Annie' I love it!".

We stayed for a little while longer before heading home. Hannah and baby Annie got out of hospital the next day. In hindsight the last few months had gone a little too well. Something was bound to go wrong and I will never forget the day it did. The day that changed our fate.


	2. Chapter 2

It all started the day we bought Annie home from the hospital.

We got up early and drove the short distance to the local hospital in the town where I grew up. Due to budget cuts the small hospital was falling into disrepair. Every month or so a ward was closed and its services moved to nearby Holby. The maternity unit was not admitting any new patients and all expectant mothers from the small town and its surrounding villages were being sent to the larger hospitals.

A middle aged midwife with greying hair and prominent smile lines showed my Dad how to secure the baby in the car seat. Hannah sat on a chair, staring listlessly at the wall while Leah rambled on about the carrots she'd grown for the baby.

The midwife showed Dad how to put the seat safely in the car "hop in then Mummy" she chirped.

Hannah sighed and sat in the middle next to the baby one the right. The midwife helped Leah into the left hand seat and I hopped into the front.

On the way home Dad and Leah both chatted excitedly. Hannah stared straight past the sleeping infant next to her which gave me an uneasy feeling. Something hadn't been right both the times I'd visited the hospital. I had never seen Hannah hold the baby or even look at her for more than a second. We had also been getting an unusual number of silent calls and calls for a 'Miss Hannah Jackson'".

Alarm bells began ringing over the next few days. Dad did everything for the baby. I spent the week trying to learn how to care for her. I tried my best but every time I held her she cried. Dad said I wasn't 'relaxed enough'. I couldn't relax, it was the summer holidays so when Leah wasn't asking me when Mummy would play with her I was worrying about Hannah.

She hadn't been living with us long but I had never really had a Mum before. She cooked me tea and came to my parent's evening and teased me playfully when I bought my friend Evie home from school.

Evie was mousey with big thick rimmed glasses and a voice like an angel. Both of us were roped in for several school shows and spent a lot of time out of school rehearsing together. I didn't like her in that way though. She was my friend and nothing more.

After a week my Dad had to go back to work. He left very early as usual because he had to catch the train to Holby.

I woke up to the sound of a wailing baby and children's cartoons ringing through the house. Groaning I swung my feet out of bed and padded down the hall to the master bedroom. I groggily stepped over the things on the floor and got to the cot, lifting Annie out somewhat awkwardly. I glanced at the bed, rocking back and forth trying to soothe the baby. My blood ran cold.

What I had originally thought was Hannah's sleeping form on her side of the bed was quite obviously artfully arranged scatter cushions.

I rushed around the house shouting her name,I'd put the now sleeping baby in her moses basket downstairs.I looked everywhere. Hannah was not in the house.

Leah came bounding up the stairs "Benny where's Mummy?, she said she'd gone out for milk"

I opened the wardrobe in the master bedroom. All her clothes were gone. I tried to shut the door quickly but Leah caught a glimpse of the half empty wardrobe "w-where's Mummy… has she… gone".

I stared at her trying to formulate a response but it was all in my eyes. She ran from the room crying with me hot on her heels.

She beat her tiny hands on the door screaming "Mummy, Mummy, please come back… you never signed my letter for the school trip…" she sobbed.

I picked up the feather light child who'd crumpled into a heap on the welcome mat and sat her down on the sofa. Trying to mimic how my Dad would calm me when I was little I stroked her hair until she had stopped crying. Then I put 'My Little Pony' on the TV and went into the hall to call my Dad.

After explaining the situation and answering about two hundred questions with "I don't know, she told Leah she was going for milk and never came back" my Dad hung up.

I fed Leah breakfast and, with the help of the parenting book my Dad had been teaching me with gave Annie her bottle.

When my Dad eventually got home everything was calm and serene. Leah was sitting in front of the TV, still sniffling but calm, Annie was asleep and the house was semi clean.

"I've called all her friends they don't know where she is. I'm going to drive to her favourite pub, I'm pretty sure she'll be there. It looks like you have things under control here" Dad said picking up a map and heading out of the door again.

It was then that I saw the note. It sat on a table in the hall underneath a porcelain elephant our neighbour had got us from India when we had taken care of her cat. It was written on the back of an envelope in Hannah's loopy writing. It read:

 _Dear Arthur._

 _I'm sorry I have left without saying goodbye but trust me it's better this way. I have gone to be with someone I truly love. I know my girls will be well looked after with you. If you don't want to keep them my social workers number is on the back and she'll find somewhere for them._

 _Give my love to Leah_

 _Hannah xxx_

My Dad returned home around tea time. I had made Leah beans on toast and she sat picking at it in the kitchen.

I handed my Dad the note and his face fell. "I'm going out for a bit Ben… I need to clear my head" he whispered. I'd been holding the fort all day, I could handle bedtime.

I moved Annie's moses basket to my room "just for one night" I told myself as I rocked her to sleep. I read Leah a bedtime story and tucked her in "Benny" she yawned sleepily "Mummy will come back, won't she? She can sign my trip letter?".

"I don't know Leah, I'll sign your letter if you like" I sighed switching off her light leaving only the gentle glow of her night light.

Much later when I was watching TV downstairs Dad staggered through the door reeking of booze "she doesn't love me" he slurred "I love her but… she".

"Okay Dad" I sighed "let's get you to bed"


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this took so long I've been having some major laptop issues (it gives me electric shocks).**

I spent the remainder of the summer holdidays at home, keeping up with the endless loads of laundry, sterilising and making up bottles, cooking, cleaning and taking care of the girls.

Dad spent his mornings in bed, hungover from the previous evenings drinking and his afternoons either in the pub or visiting Hannah's distant friends. He was so desperate to find her that he didn't even seem to care about his baby daughter who was in the hands of an incompetent fourteen year old. He only just remembered to give me some money to go food shopping, something I never wanted to experience again after I had to change Annie on my hoodie on the floor of the mens after shooing Leah into an empty cubicle because there was no baby changing facilities in the mens toilets.

Luckily childcare had already been arranged five days a week for baby Annie in the form of a local childminder as Hannah was planning to go back part time to the salon she was assistant manager of so all I had to do was make up a tangible excuse as to why we would need five day childcare. I decided that I would tell people that Hannah had gone to take care of a terminally ill relative in Australia.

I woke up even earlier than usual on the first day at school, pulled on my school uniform then set about getting the girls ready for the day. I dropped Annie off with the smiley childminder before saying goodbye to Leah at her classroom door.

School flew by. It was the first time I had seen my friends in three weeks but messing with the teachers and talking about what we were going to do at the skate park that night seemed so trivial now I had the weight of my newly formed family on my shoulders and Evie was still abroad with her was the first time I had sat down properly in weeks and I wanted to burst in to tears when my first lesson teacher asked me to do something. I felt like a child again, like someone else was in control. I ran to the bus as soon as the ear splitting soind of the bell rang thoughout the school sitting at the front on my own rather than at the back with my rowdy friends so I could make a swift getaway and not be late for the girls.

Leah's teacher finally let us go after consulting with a teaching assistant who had worked with her before and knew I often picked up Leah from school. I picked Annie up from the childminder who told me that she was very sorry about my Great Aunt Roberta, the ill relative I had made up.

At home I began the evening routine, helping Leah with her homework and doing last nights washing up. Dad came in just as Leah had gone upstairs to play. I was stood at the stove rocking Annie to sleep as I made dinner.

"I think I've found her Ben!" he said a little too loudly, earning him a shush from me "her friend Cheryl said she's gone travelling with her boyfriend for three months, I'll go and talk to her then win her back!" he babbled excitedly.

I knew deep down that Hannah wouldn't come back but I couldn't help holding onto the hope that she would. I wanted her to come back and take over with the house and the kids and the finances, I wanted Dad to be around more so I didn't have to manage the flats he was renting out around the corner along with everything else.

After that he went back to work, stopped drinking during the day and even started helping out with the girls and around the house. I was making better progress at school, Annie was happy at the childminders and Leah started to make more friends at school. Things were looking up but it seemed to good to last...


End file.
